4:50 PM

Fat, Dumb
and Happy
might get
you killed.


There you are, just lollygaggin' along in your Cessna 150, adding some time to your logbook as you see sights in the general vicinity of Miami, Florida this coming Sunday. You're not really a sports fan, but you've kinda sorta heard that some big game is going on. But who cares, right, because you're all alone up there converting dollars into altitude.

Except there's a REALLY angry guy at your three o'clock flying the U.S. Army Blackhawk gunship. What's his problem, you ask as a seriously fast-moving bizjet flown by the U.S. Customs and Border Protection Department blasts by your nine o'clock at warp speed.

Well dumb-ass, you'd be in the loop if you had read the NOTAM published for the Super Bowl:

6/9015 PART 1 OF 3 FL.. FLIGHT RESTRICTIONS DOLPHIN STADIUM, MIAMI FL. PURSUANT TO TITLE 14 CFR SECTION 99.7, SPECIAL SECURITY INSTRUCTIONS, ALL AIRCRAFT FLIGHT OPERATIONS ARE PROHIBITED AS FOLLOWS: WITHIN A 30 NMR OF 255728N/0801419W OR THE FLL214008.4 UP TO BUT NOT INCLUDING FL180. EFFECTIVE 0702042100 UTC (1600 LOCAL 02/04/07) UNTIL 0702050459 UTC (2359 LOCAL 02/04/07). WITHIN A 10 NMR OF 255728N/0801419W OR THE FLL214008.4 UP TO BUT NOT INCLUDING FL180. EFFECTIVE 0702042100 UTC (1600 LOCAL 02/04/07) UNTIL 0702050459 UTC (2359 LOCAL 02/04/07).
Looks like gibberish, you say? I might tend to agree, so if you can't make heads nor tails out of a Notam like this, just stay in the coffee shop or better yet, watch the game.

There is so much security for the game, you'd think a certain relative of the Jebster was scheduled to tell us his "lies du jour" from the fifty yard line. The massive police force in place for Super Bowl XLI has thought of everything too:
One wild card in Miami is whether there might be celebrations, or even rioting, among the thousands of Cuban exiles in the city if Fidel Castro dies before the game. The Cuban president has been seriously ill since midsummer, with some reports indicating he might be near death. NFL officials and government officials say there is no plan to postpone the game or any of the numerous related events if Castro dies, and dealing with any disruptions triggered by such an event won't take away personnel or assets from Super Bowl security.
Whoa. Castro bites it and the Bears win it all...sounds like a recipe for disaster, unless of course you're the developer buddy of His Majesty the President. Because the minute Castro flat-lines, we know that'll be the minute you-know-who sends troops into Havana to “liberate” the island in the name of the all-mighty condominium.

Bet on it.

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