Poof.

Tonight – under the cover of darkness from the lunar eclipse – the U.S. Navy ship Lake Erie has finished off USA 193...this coming from All Headlines News:

Washington, D.C. (AHN) - Defense Department officials confirm that the United States has successfully destroyed a spy satellite that never reached orbit successfully. Pentagon officials say a U.S. Navy vessel fired a cruise missile at the satellite once the NASA space shuttle Atlantis made it back to Earth.

Glad to see it. And since this turd of a satellite failed right after it launched, I am just asking out loud if we taxpayers can demand that the DoD find the receipt for that piece of high-tech garbage and ask for a refund. No, they just don't make spy satellites like they used to. Makes one wonder how much of that worthless thing was outsourced to China.

But wait, maybe all this time while "they" were telling us it was, um, "broken"...maybe it wasn't really broken at all. Maybe...it...was, um, shooting pictures of my license plate from space. Could it have been counting the freckles on my dog's butt...No, oh God, wait, there's that chopping sound again... over the house... black... helicopters must... find... foil... hat...