Wednesday, August 08, 2012
First, you find a web site like this one to start the process by seeing some possible words. Find one that is relatively familiar, such as WHEEL PANTS. Then, since the object is to change just one letter to make a new word, type out the word and look at the P in PANTS. Then start working through the alphabet in your mind until a letter to replace the P makes a new word. A does not work, it makes AANTS, so move on to B, and C, and D until a word appears in your brain. I get to R to make WHEEL RANTS and then make up a funny description of what the new word(s) means, such as "the argument a pilot makes when shouting at his/her mechanic that they have not repaired a wheel properly."
See, it's really quite simple.
So jump on board the #AVWORDS train and let's all become aviation wordologists!
UPDATE @2100Z ON 08.08.12: Someone wrote and asked if I do any "day job" work while posting these #AVWORDS all day. Sure. All I do is spend some late night time writing #AVWORDS in a word.doc, and then just copy/paste them into Twitter throughout the day. So while it looks like I am screwing off at work, I am actually not [much]. And besides, I own the business and am my own boss, so I can do it if I want as long as my ad agency clients are happy, and trust me, they are.
I was also asked where I come up with the words. It is simple enough...throughout each of our days, we get all sorts of communications from AOPA, NBAA, EAA, and the IRS (O.K., maybe not that last one) containing plenty of possibilities for words. Also, you visit many aviation websites all day every day..these sites are loaded with words that can be sliced and diced into new #AVWORDS.
Saturday, August 04, 2012
The traffic on the #AVWORDS stream was about stopped when AOPA picked up the story for their Friday eBrief. Well we all know what happens when AOPA picks up a story...it goes viral quickly!
It did not take long for traffic to again pick up, and by Saturday night, I started losing the ability to keep up with it. A guy can only copy/paste so fast. So what follows is a collection of some of my favorites, gleaned from this stream:
ARTIFICIAL CHORIZON: Fake Spanish sausage served at low-budget pancake breakfast.
PIDDLE MARKER: Sign indicating direction to the nearest restroom at the airport.
MIDDLE PARKER: pilot who takes up two spaces on the ramp.
DRAG WARE: clothing for a trans-gendered pilot.
CRAB DANGLE: the art of dangling unruly pax out the door during flight.
NI BOARD: essential flight accessory for Monty Python fans.
SLYHAWK: Stealth Cessna.
OSHMOSH: Crowd in front of the stage @ Mon concert.
RUNPAY: what you get when you have landing fees.
OSHGOSH: Exclamation of wonder from 1st time Airventure attendee.
SQUAT STITCH: An extra stitch in extra large aviator pants. Designed for redundancy during fuel sump checks on low-wing aircraft.
TURBO CROP: Special variety of corn used to make the "organic" jet fuel sold by Whole Foods.
BARMAC: What you trip and face-plant into after having one too many at the airport bar.
CELCAL: What you shouldn't do while at the controls.
G-BAND: Risque undergarment worn by pilots. Wider than the g-string (for obvious reasons).
VINDICATED AIRSPEED: When your wife yells at you to slow down and you point to the GPS to prove you weren't over VMO.
SLAPERON: How sloppy AMEs install aircraft parts.
HAIRSPEED INDICATOR: Clip devices attached to hair of open-cockpit flyers and wing-walkers. See also: VFE: Follicle Extraction speed.
ACCELERATED STALE: What your bread goes when you leave its bag and the hangar door open.
HERDS UP DISPLAY: Cockpit display that gives bush pilots better situational awareness when landing during Caribou migration season.
NONCORDE: A supersonic passenger airplane that no longer exists.
PUCE GOOSE: A giant wooden seaplane painted a Gawd-awful pink color that resembles hex color CC8899.
"RED" BARON MANFRED VON PRICHTHOFEN: A German flying ace that had a way of being a complete prick in World War 1.
LESSERSCHMITT BF 109: A German fighter that didn't stand a chance against a P-51 Mustang.
FERNOULLI EFFECT: The art of giving the ratty FBO on your home field a much needed makeover.
HERSHING MISSLE: A deadly weapon of mass destruction that can deliver massive amounts of dark chocolate right to a cave door.
SPOILET: A device to slow a pilot down as he races across the ramp on his way to the FBO bathroom.
DUDDER: A control surface that is too small to adequately provide proper effectiveness.
WOCKPIT: What it sounds like when Elmer Fudd describes a ROCKPIT.
ROCKPIT: A flight deck with Captain Fred Flintstone and FO Barney Rubble.
LOCKPIT: The flight deck of an airliner after the FA shuts and locked the cockpit door.
HOCKPIT: What you call your flight deck when you had to use a second mortgage to buy a new panel.
MOCKPIT: A flight deck with all in-op instruments and controls.
BLING SPAR: The main support structure of an airplane's wings that has been encrusted with diamonds and gold.
LEADSET: A device over a pilot's head for listening to ATC communications that is very heavy and uncomfortable.
BLT: An emergency locator radio that emits the smell of bacon so searchers can find you while looking for breakfast.
LACHOMETER: An instrument that tells you when your crappy engine is putting out less-that-optimal RPMs.
FINDSHEAR: A stoopid pilot who actually goes out LOOKING for dangerous gusty winds found near the runway in final.
OXYGIN: A gas infused with Tanqueray that is breathed by pilots flying at high altitudes in non-pressurized airplanes.
BALKAROUND: When a pilot simply refuses to do a ground inspection of the airplane prior to flight.
RETAR: An automated transmission that alerts pilots of a runway re-construction project at their destination airport.
TITOT COVER: A very small piece of fabric designed to cover the top of a woman's body at the beach.
FIGHTER PET: A Chihuahua that a Top Gun always takes along when shooting bogeys in his F-18.
LEFTHANSA: An airline based in Germany that only serves Democrats.
JOYSTUCK: When the control stick in your Piper Cub gets jammed in the aft position.
BUCKCOURSE APPROACH: What rednecks fly inbound when drinking beer and hunting deer in their Cessna.
TURD RUNWAY: A "grass" strip used by small taildraggers that is next to a toxic sewer farm.
RUTAN DARIEZE: An experimental canard airplane powered by 2% Low Fat milk.
SPACECHIPONE: A new vehicle designed for commercial space travel made out of and looking just like a Dorito.
AMELIA BARHART: An aviatrix explorer who got drunk on Coconut Daiquiris in a Howland Island dive bar and fell into the sea.
MIDDLE BARKER: A gypsy carnival salesman who stands under an ILS approach and yells at you when you fly over.
PIPER TRI-RACER: A PA-22 turboprop with a Pratt & Whitney PT6 engine.
AVIS: An automated radio transmission telling you if your rental car is ready at the counter.
FONTINENTAL ENGINE: An airplane powerplant that comes in regular, bold and italic versions.
TIEDAWN: a parking spot available only till sunrise.
HELIBAD: an inconsiderate helicopter pilot that turns airplanes over with rotor blast.
SPITDIRE: a poor-men piston engine fighter from WWII.
AFTERTURNER: a fighter pilot known for poor navigational skills.
LOW BASS: a method for fishing from an airplane without landing.
WETHER RADAR: onboard system to help insecure pilots make a choice.
FUEL GLOW: the effect on your tanks after filling them with Chernobyl’s avgas.
USER PEES: why pilots would do on a government request for more taxes.
SIDESTOP: skidding sideway on the runway after a bad crosswind landing.
GROSSWIND: air blowing across the runway from a sewage treatment area.
CARB BEAT: the sound made by an iced over engine.
FAKEOFFRUN: rolling on the runway at full throttle, only to hide behind a hangar.
READSTICK LANDING: a textbook arrival
FAILPLANE: you already knew that airplane wasn’t safe, why have you flown it?
FRY BY: a nice Diner really close to the runway.
NORA! NORA! NORA! shouted by a Japaneze kamikaze that sat through Ibsen's Doll's House one too many times (sorry....)
WINE SPAN: the dimensions of the spill when your $12 thimble of Cabernet hits the floor after encountering turbulence.
TOUCH AND NO: sexual harassment training for aviators.
SEATBOLT - the part that causes discomfort to your posterior when squeezed into a too-small seat on a commercial flight.
ABIOPHOBIA - fear of flab around the middle caused by eating too many $100 hamburgers.
ROTATING BACON: What you get flying acro after a big breakfast.
OFF-AIRPORT LENDING: When the FBO gives you a crew car to find a Wendy's downtown.
GROSSFEED: a disgusting way to make your engines run.
AVIANICS - The parts of your plane that are Tango Uniform after a birdstrike.
TRUST REVERSER: Slows the plane down because neither pilot trusts the other!
GOLD SHORT: Customs check at many South African airports designed to prevent smuggling.
NOTAB: Advance warning to pilots that bars in nearby areas are strictly cash only, thanks to others not paying bills on time.
So I guess this thing has some life in it. If you want to join the fun, change one letter of a known aviation word, write a funny new description and post on Twitter using hashtag #AVWORDS.
Thursday, August 02, 2012
Airplanista’s #Avwords meme is proof that the aviation community on Twitter has plenty of creative souls on board
Little did I know this “meme” would take off like a Lancair Evolution. In just a few hours on Wednesday night, the twitstream for this game exploded as more and more tweeps came up with really creative new #AVWORDS. You can read a few of my favorites here.
So I had no idea what to expect the next full day of the game. Twitter is a fairly unpredictable communication tool, you never really know who is out there reading your stuff. After a really slow start, I was about ready to pack it in and call this thing a fluke. But about noon Pacific time, all hell broke loose, and tweeple began tweeting #AVWORDS a mile a minute.
This whole thing clearly demonstrates the power of Twitter as a way to reach out and make something happen within a niche. I have no idea how long this will last, as shelf life for anything popular on Twitter is pretty short. But for now, let’s bring the aviation family together a little tighter with more fun with words. I am not giving away prizes per se, but if this continues, I might have to. Some of these are priceless – classic #AVWORDS sure to give anyone who reads them a guaranteed chuckle.
Below are just a sampling of my favorites from Thursday 8/2:
BEECH MOUSEKETEER: Disney-sponsored Young Eagle aircraft.
NUN-MOVEMENT AREA: Passenger terminal at Vatican City airport.
HOLD-SHORTS: Command to pilot whose belt is inadequate to maintain adequate pants suspension.
VAPOR LOCH: When flying too low over the swamp leads you to IMC.
FIRST CRASS MEDICAL: When the AME makes inappropriate jokes during your physical.
PRACTICE ARIA: A flight attendant rehearsing before singing to pax on the overhead.
DUEL SELECTOR: Argumentative geezers at the FBO trying to stir up a disagreement for their own entertainment.
MACROBURST: Large, obvious weather phenomena that are somehow overlooked by certain pilots.
FOWLED FLAPS: The result when a bird strikes the inboard trailing edge of the wing.
GROUND LOOT: freebies from the FBO.
FOLDING PATTERN: The fancy napkin patterns for first-class pax.
COWL FLOPS: Oil streaks decorating the sides of a plane with a radial engine.
CONTRACT APPROACH: Visual approach flown by RJ pilots in a rush.
FRIGHT FOLLOWING: Flying in the wake turbulence behind a Heavy.
ERECTOR SEAT: Hastily improvised repairs to the pilot's seat.
PROP DUSTING: Doing engine run-up in a manner that blows FOD and dust back onto the ramp
ASYMMETRIC TRUST: Aircraft partnership where one partner has much higher stake. OR: disparity in trust between CFI and student.
MOWING MAP: Diagram for airport groundskeepers.
SEABEA: Elderly aunt who lectures endlessly about the hazards of floatplane flying.
GRUMMAN GOOSH: The noise made when a heavy seaplane beaches.
GORTEX GENERATORS: Waterproof APUs.
BEECHDRAFT: Formation flying with a Duchess.
FAIRPORTS: Airports without landing fees.
TRYMOTOR: The name of Ford's flying car concept.
BOISE ABATEMENT: Policies intended to placate Idaho's nature-lovers.
GLIDENOPE: ILS missed approach procedures.
ATOMATOBLAMES: Post-stagecheck arguments with your CFI about the helpfulness of pneumonic devices.
AILEROT: Deterioration of critical control surface.
ULTIMETER: Glass panel display that shows information about everything, everywhere.
BOWLER FLAPS: Failed hat design feature - they kept flying off people's heads.
OFF-AIRPORT LENDING: When the FBO gives you a crew car to find a Wendy's downtown.
BAR/AIM: Comprehensive list of bars near the local FBO.
SARATOKA: A 6 seat Piper used for marijuana running.
FINAL APPROACH PIX: Quickly snapping one last photo before landing.
OUTER BARKER: A poorly behaved dog who sits outside of an airplane hanger.
BATCOM: Special radio that allows pilots to talk to the caped crusader.
SPRUCE MOOSE: Canada's early attempt at a large cargo plane. Project halted with discovery that moose can't fly.
406 BLT SYSTEM: Delivers sandwiches to hungry pilots with much greater accuracy than the previous BLT SYSTEM.
RE-ICING: procedure carried out in order to find an excuse for not flying.
SUN N PUN: the funniest fly-in ever!
PIPER PUB: the preferred drinking spot for GA pilots.
PIPER TUB: small airplane known for having awful flying characteristics.
AIRDENTURE: the biggest dentists airshow, only airplanes with fake parts admitted.
STABBERWING: unreliable airplane that tries to kill unsuspecting pilots.
SOXATA: French airplane maker especially loved by baseball fans.
OVERSHOUTING: screaming will not make you land shorter.
FILTHROTOR: a part airplane-part helicopter extremely dirty flying machine.
ATCNO: air traffic controllers always unable to approve your request.
SUCKSHOI: one of the worst airplane maker in the world.
AIRFUSS: airline airplanes maker that is a bit too nervous.
BANGAR PARTY: What you call it when a group of pilots in the UK gets together to eat sausages and mash.
NOTJETS: A fractional jet card outfit that flies nothing but old Piper Apaches.
BLOATPLANE: A big, slow, bloated, complicated, undependable airplane made by Microsoft.
$100 HAMBURGLER: A pilot who runs out of the airport cafe without paying his bill.
FOODYEAR BLIMP: An iconic and gigantic balloon filled with steaks, Twinkies, organic tofu and brats.
SLABILATOR: A device on the back end of a Piper Cherokee that keeps the pilot from ending up on a slab down at the morgue.
TURD & BANK INDICATOR: An instrument showing the balance of your bank account after buying MORE parts for your turdwagon airplane.
UNICOD: A radio frequency typically used by Coast Guard helicopters to receive emergency distress calls from sinking fish.
HORTAC: A radio navigation aid to allow direct routing to the nearest whore house.
FAIRY FLIGHT: The act of transporting Tinkerbell's unairworthy airplane from Neverland to the nearest FBO for repair.
BURBOCHARGER: A really fast airplane you can use to strafe your friend's SUV out in the 'burbs.
DRUNKENHEIMER VALVE: A manual drain placed handily in a pilot's pants to evacuate used beer prior to flight.
ABGAS: That bloated feeling you get in your stomach when you have eaten too much Chili Verde.
GEN. CHUCK JEAGER: "He's got 'da moves like Jeaga', he got da' moves like Jeaga'..."
HELD-SHORT LINE: An imaginary line in the men's restroom a few inches in front of a urinal.
BAMBARDIER: A CRj100 regional jet that strikes the jetway on taxi out.
OSHPOSH: An air show with VIP suites, champagne flowing at every booth, and trains of Bentleys for tram service.
AOPD: An aviation organization that serves GA pilots with chronic breathing problems.
PLANESNOTTING: Trying to fly a GA airplane when your allergies are causing a seriously runny nose.
FOREFRIGHT: What happens when your iPad goes dark while on final IFR approach in IMC.
FLIGHT FLAN: A tasty dessert served on all Aeromexico routes.
BAWKER: A large business jet made my HBC in Wichita that simply refuses to accelerate for takeoff.
CORVALLIS: A composite 4 pax ship from Cessna with the name spelled correctly.
LITABRIA: A small, fabric covered aerobatic airplane with an engine fire.
PEARJET: A sleek twin-engine turbine ship loaded with crates of D'Anjous.
MIRRUS: A new SR-22 model from Duluth that is covered in polished aluminum so shiny you can see yourself clearly.
PIPER NAVAHO: A flying brothel used exclusively by the Mile High Club.
SPYLANE: A Cessna 182 used for black ops over any country with a name that ends in -STAN.
CHEROPEE: A popular low-wing GA airplane full of people who drank WAY too much coffee.
CREAMLINER: Boeing's latest passenger jet that creates a more soothing ride when filled with 2,000 gals. of whipping cream.
FILATUS: A PC-12 loaded with too many souls and suitcases.
BEACHCRAFT: Any Husky A1-C you land on the sand to go play in the waves.
POONEY: A M20 with a really crappy engine.
CUSSNA: A really undependable Skyhawk that is forever causing its owner to utter four letter words.
AIRSPICE: A kind of deodorizer used in small aircraft to remove the smell of to many airport cafe burritos.
TRAVITY: The occurrence of pulling your tray table down to your knees when using an old, heavy, antique laptop.
JAVATORY: A small room in the back of an airliner where you can relive yourself while getting a latté.
NAGIGATION: What your wife (or husband) does from the right seat.
TURBOPROD: A high-powered device burning Jet-A that allows a cowboy to seriously blast the southbound end of a northbound cow.
LAGNETO: When one half of your electrical system fails to provide timely output of power to the spark plugs.
COMPISS: The liquid that drips out of your old whiskey compass down your panel when it springs a leak.
RUNAWAY- what smart pilots (like @burnsidej ) do when approaching severe weather!
HAIRCRAFT: a situation when, on a long flight, the pilots get bored and sculpt each other's hair.
Stay tuned, this meme is far from over...
Wednesday, August 01, 2012
The email was a bonehead simple way to have fun with words. All that was required is that people changed one letter in a known word, and then write a new definition for the new word. Some, like BOZONE (The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating) were hilarious.
But me being, well, ME..always gravitates towards aviation, so I immediately went over to Tweetdeck and threw out the concept to my 3,700+ followers. "What if we could play the game with aviation words?" I asked. Of course, my #avwords stream lit up like the landing lights on an A380.
So, it appears I started something really fun.
Some of the best of the #avwords are below. These all came in during about a two hour period...and I am quite sure this meme will continue for a while. I am sorry in advance if you lose valuable productivity in the next few days following the #avwords stream:
BACH NUMBER: Used by A&Ps to indicate how baroque your aircraft is.
IKAO: Swedish aircraft available in a flat pack homebuilt version.
ATTITUDE ALERT SYSTEM: Warns the flight crew when the flight attendants are getting grumpy.
PITOT LUBE: You know what it's for.
NOAH: Weather service that always predicts rain.
NEXTGIN: Favorite drink of the FAA and a substitute for Avgas.
ABIONICS: Cybernetic augmentations that enable a pilot to interface directly to the EFIS and DMU.
OVIONICS: Flight instrumentation for sheep.
BRANSPONDER: Dispenser of high fiber cereal.
CRANSPONDER: Machine to the right that of the BRANSPONDER that sprinkles cranberries on the bran cereal,
TYKEOFF: When the parents of the screaming toddler threaten to kick him off the plane unless he behaves.
SAND-PROPPING: Removing the grit from your cowl after a heavy twin runs up in front of you.
NO-GYRO APPROACH: Avoiding the Greek sandwich shop in the terminal at lunchtime.
TRAMSPONDER: Radio that calls ahead for crew transit away from the airport.
NAGCOM: A radio that keeps bitching at you when you are off course.
SQUACK: Maintenance report after a duck strike.
APTIMETER: A new instrument to measure your level of flying skills and knowledge.
JOYSLICK: When too much Vasoline on your hands prevents you from flying your Piper Cub.
TURBONE: What you feel like happens when U get the bill for a hot section inspection.
WAYPAINT: The material used to paint a waypoint on the sectional.
NOJAM: The official notice to all airmen that you must now eat a sandwich of just bread and peanut butter.
PYRO: What happens when your gyro spins too fast and explodes in flames.
SIPMET: An official warning of all beer drinking known to exist in a given geographical area.
DELICOPTER: A rotor-wing flying machine that delivers Reuben Sandwiches to places with no landing strips.
METAB: All your steak in one tiny little pill.
BONOPLANE: The preferred method of travel for the band U2.
FLART: When you eat burritos and light up your underwear.
SQUAL: When ATC is sleeping and all pilots in the airspace are buzzing around like bees.
WINGLEGS: When an aircraft is walking down the tarmac.
Stay tuned, this fun is far from over...